Recently a young mum rang me with deep concern in her voice regarding her young 4-year-old son who she felt was vulnerable to abuse from others because of her own struggles with anger in the disciplining of her young boy. The real concern was, had she given permission and opened enemy portals in the spirit realm over her son because of her own anger issue?
In discussion and prayer she was able to be set free of her guilt and concern when she received the truth that “when we confess our sin (falling short of God’s mark) that He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness”.
By the prayer of authority in Jesus Name, parents place protection around their child from any consequences of their past parental failure. “Jesus came to destroy the works of the evil one”, hence we can use His Name to spiritually oversee and protect our children. As we ask God to CLOSE the portals that may have been opened by sin/inheritance, we then declare an open heaven of blessing, favour and destiny over our child’s life! This brings real peace and joy to our parenting, as it did to this mother.
I was talking to a father of a teenage daughter (13) and a teenage son (15) who was having trouble with parenting his daughter. He was finding it difficult reasoning with her, while communication with his son was easy and enjoyable. The tension with his daughter was bringing pain to the parenting relationship and it was also upsetting his wife.
It was apparent that dad had accommodated his son’s change into adolescence because he remembers that he also was once a teenage boy. However he wasn’t ready to change gears for his daughter, as he wanted to protect her by keeping her as a young girl. Understandably she was not responding to being treated as a child, rather than as a maturing adolescent. Tension was the ensuing result of their encounters and both were withdrawing emotionally, much to dad’s heartache.
Parents need to change gears in the manner in which they communicate with their pre-teens & teens when hormones hit! They must transition from being the “benevolent dictator/parent” to becoming their teen’s wise advisor & eventually their trusted friend – not their “policeman” who simply wants to over-protect.
Parents are to do the right thing when their child does the wrong thing! We were all children once therefore we know it is the child’s “job description” to be naughty. So it behoves parents to prepare themselves for this expected behaviour. Parenting skills don’t come naturally, like love for your child does – they have to be observed and learned.
To help prepare yourself for the amazing joy of being a parent, there is copious parenting material in print and on-line that is readily available. Don’t be hesitant to ask for advice from family and friends that have children behaving like you would like to see your children behave. People like to share parenting hints, as parents love talking about their children, especially if they are being complimented for their good and proper behaviour.