Proverb 14

Ladies, you are a builder or a destroyer of your home according to what you do with your hands and your mouth.

Doing nothing achieves nothing, but working fearing God, your home will flourish.

Avoid scoffers and avoid troubling your heart by seeking knowledge and wisdom, not fools who mock at sin.

The quick tempered backslider who does life the world’s way will find sorrow and death of dreams. Depart from evil and only have your confidence in the fear of God. Remain prudent crowning yourself with knowledge. Truth and mercy sets people free and good always overcomes evil.

So have mercy on the poor as this honours God and brings much profit, but Idle chatter leads to evil. Having good friends is honorable and lack of friends is depressing. A good heart is slow to anger but being impulsive brings folly. Envy of others will eat away at you.  God gives favour to the upright woman who builds her home and nation, but His wrath is against those who bring shame by sin.

Sibling rivalry or great friends

Sibling rivalry is common in many families. It’s cause can stem from wanting attention to bullying amongst the children. However it should not be ignored as it fuels a constant distressful atmosphere in one’s home and often estrangement of the siblings when they leave home. Too often parents simply become “peace-keepers” by just separating the children during the tension.  Regrettably this does not resolve the issues, but simply stores them for future conflict!  Rather than just separating the children, it would be much wiser for the parent to attempt to become a “peace-maker”.  This is done by insisting that the “rivals” apologize to each other for the conflict and with the parent’s help attempt to verbally resolve the differences.  Leaving issues unresolved often will cause the emotional separation between siblings to grow bigger, eliminating any desire to seek reconciliation. This toxic situation can be neutralized by the parents insisting the rivals talk it through and importantly, followed by their individual declaration for a desire to be one another’s friend!  Parents who make the effort to be peace-makers will end up with a rewarding unified family … truly heaven on earth!

A parent’s authority

Recently a young mum rang me with deep concern in her voice regarding her young 4-year-old son who she felt was vulnerable to abuse from others because of her own struggles with anger in the disciplining of her young boy.  The real concern was, had she given permission and opened enemy portals in the spirit realm over her son because of her own anger issue?

In discussion and prayer she was able to be set free of her guilt and concern when she received the truth that “when we confess our sin (falling short of God’s mark) that He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness”.

By the prayer of authority in Jesus Name, parents place protection around their child from any consequences of their past parental failure.  “Jesus came to destroy the works of the evil one”, hence we can use His Name to spiritually oversee and protect our children.  As we ask God to CLOSE the portals that may have been opened by sin/inheritance, we then declare an open heaven of blessing, favour and destiny over our child’s life!  This brings real peace and joy to our parenting, as it did to this mother.

Celebrate parenting!

A father/daughter conflict

I was talking to a father of a teenage daughter (13) and a teenage son (15) who was having trouble with parenting his daughter. He was finding it difficult reasoning with her, while communication with his son was easy and enjoyable. The tension with his daughter was bringing pain to the parenting relationship and it was also upsetting his wife.

It was apparent that dad had accommodated his son’s change into adolescence because he remembers that he also was once a teenage boy.   However he wasn’t ready to change gears for his daughter,  as he wanted to protect her by keeping her as a young girl. Understandably she was not responding to being treated as a child, rather than as a maturing adolescent. Tension was the ensuing result of their encounters and both were withdrawing emotionally, much to dad’s heartache.

Parents need to change gears in the manner in which they communicate with their pre-teens & teens when hormones hit!  They must transition from being the “benevolent dictator/parent” to becoming their teen’s wise advisor & eventually their trusted friend – not their “policeman” who simply wants to over-protect.  

Celebrate parenting.

Parents do the right thing when children do the wrong thing

Parents are to do the right thing when their child does the wrong thing!  We were all children once therefore we know it is the child’s “job description” to be naughty. So it behoves parents to prepare themselves for this expected behaviour. Parenting skills don’t come naturally, like love for your child does – they have to be observed and learned.

To help prepare yourself for the amazing joy of being a parent, there is copious parenting material in print and on-line that is readily available. Don’t be hesitant to ask for advice from family and friends that have children behaving like you would like to see your children behave. People like to share parenting hints, as parents love talking about their children, especially if they are being complimented for their good and proper behaviour.

Celebrate parenting.